Being a mother, particularly a stay at home mother, generally means that you do not get a lot of alone time. I mean, it is lovely and amazing to get in all the time with your son or daughter (or multiples) but there are days where you would give anything for ten minutes of you-time. Not even the bathroom is somewhere you can escape to in peace! Whether you can see their little fingers under the door or they are standing outside saying, “Moooooommmmm.”
Desiring a bit of time to yourself doesn’t mean you are a bad mother, not even close. Having a bit of quality you-time is actually healthy and helps keep you going and can actually help you be a better mother overall. If you get burnt out and exhausted trying to be a great mother every minute of every day, on top of trying to be a good wife or whatever your other roles are that you play, your performance is going to suffer in all areas.
Allowing yourself to do self-care will help you have more patience with your kids, your spouse and others. Having the energy to keep up with the demands of life is hard, especially when it starts when your child wakes up and doesn’t end until a few hours after they go to sleep while you try to catch up on the housework and other tasks. It is so easy for many women to lose themselves in motherhood and forget to take care of themselves as they sacrifice themselves for the good of their children and others. Something that, as mothers, we often forget is that we will be able to do more good and serve others better if we take the time to care for ourselves.
If possible, schedule in a babysitter or ask your spouse to watch the kids for an hour or so. Take the time to do something you enjoy but don’t get to do very often anymore. Or simply use it to completely relax and recharge. Have a nap or take a bubble bath with your favorite scents. If you don’t get out of the house very much try going to your favorite coffee shop or walking around a park for a while.
Most importantly, just use the time to take care of your needs whether that is a spa day, ordering your favorite pastry at the local bakery, or making time to catch up with an old friend. Caring for yourself is not selfish, it is necessary.
Keep it up, mommy. You are doing awesome.